Is it just me or do these headlines seem rather familiar?*
Mass extinction has become the latest crise du jour for the greenies – and they may have a point considering the correlation between greenieness and homosexuality: certain climate ‘scientists’ would point to Brighton and California as proof of causation for the thesis that being gay turns you green.
But the reality is that we have remarkably little understanding of the extent and the resilience of our fellow travellers; the earth is actually far more diverse than we know. In the last eleven years, 615 new species have been found in Madagascar alone but you’ll never hear a “global panel of scientists” say “It’s better than we thought”. Global panels of scientists only ever say, “It’s worse than we thought” – with such regularity that I wonder why anybody ever pays them any attention, let alone fund them.
The Hopping Pancake Batfish is another of several recent oceanic discoveries: it will be hopping mad to learn that within a generation it faces being re-consigned to oblivion. Mind you, having the appearance of a piece of battered haddock, it’s only got itself to blame.
And our all-knowing scientists can’t even get the extinctions right. The Arabian Oryx has returned from the dead (which just goes to show that those Arabian hunters have got nothing on their French counterparts who have twice ridded the country of its bear population). Wendy’s Forest Toad has also put in a reappearance although many have commented that it has never been observed in the same room with Charlie Windsor.
All of these new discoveries and returns from the dead have been documented in the last couple of months and are a reminder of how little we really know. And it’s far from a recent phenomenon – the coelacanth was considered to have been extinct for over 80 million years until one was caught in 1938. Since then, populations have been discovered all through the southern oceans.
Even the greenies’ standard-bearer, the Polar Bear, has comfortably survived the doomsayers’ predictions with its population rising from 5000 to 25000 during the last 30 years or so of ‘catastrophic warming’.
Sadly not all species are born equal: nature and biodiversity are only sovereign when the greenies say they are. The Snail Darter is vital to biodiversity and so a hydro-electic dam cannot be built; dolphins need to be protected from the dangers of offshore drilling; but perversely, we need to expend vast quantities of CO2 to kill Australia’s camels. How the camel must wish it was born white, fluffy and cute.
What we’re witnessing is the realisation that the climate scam has been fully rumbled; too many of us have taken to looking out the window and wishing for the global warming we’ve been promised. And so ocean acidification and mass extinction are the new scare stories – because they’re a lot less verifiable by the likes of you and me.
UPDATE Not long after posting, I read this excellent blog on the subject. Why don’t journalists do this sort of research?
* It’s not just me…